…omg that sounds AMAZING!!! I haven’t even played any of those games. But like, your friend playing trucking simulator, and you play farming simulator. You grow corn. He trucks it.

the only person on the planet that believes influencers as far as I can throw them.

This phrase doesn’t work though. Unless you’re some body builder type, and can throw them really really far.

But even that doesn’t make sense either. Because if you said

“I only trust this guy 18 feet…”

the other person would say

“…18 feet? What? What does THAT mean???”

And you would say “What??? You think you can throw a man 19 feet??? Ok. Go grab him. Go. Go grab that man, and throw him 19 feet. Show me.”

At about this time I think they would just call the cops, assuming you have mental problems, and violent tendancies.

Which to be fair…yeah. You’re over here talking about how far you can pick another man up against their will, and how far you can throw them.

Although, how have we never made that an olympic event? You get a bunch of fat guys in a bar, and some body builder muscleheads, and see who wins. If the fat guy can escape, his time to escape is measured. Fastest fat guy gets the medal. Or, if he gets thrown, farthest throw distance wins the medal.

I’d watch that.

I’d accept the job, and then write the WORST assballs articles about how Mario isn’t trying to save the princess. He’s hunting her down to get more mushrooms. She’s not being kidnapped. She’s spending quality time with her husband. She’s not a princess. She works at a white castle. Which back in the 80s, still had some of the old royal castle buildings in use.

And Luigi isn’t his frightened little brother who won’t go on adventures because he’s scared. He’s just some guy who cleans and flips houses.

And Princess isn’t surrounded by her toads loyal servicemen. Those are dildos. Yes, ALL of them.

And then when they reject my work, I’d be like “Oh…then you are NOT going to like my article of pacman taking drugs and being racist…”

Great contribution to the conversation. It’s short. It’s direct. It leaves a huge amount of confusion what you’re even saying. Are you saying the industry doesn’t underpay? Are you saying the writers don’t prop up the industry? Who’s to say? Certainly not you! Because you didn’t say…

As someone who’s never paid attention to the word count, how long would that take to write, edit, and submit?

Buddy…government doesn’t give a shit about video games. They got wars to start. People to exploit.

“You’re gonna hate the way it feels. I guarantee it.”

Cries in MMOs from 20 years ago.

Ok…4 hours of sleep a night is officially not enough. I’ve been awake for about 2 hours now, and read that as

Grandma sued for shutting down her crew.